BONUS: post-research reflection

This is a prompted reflection requested by URF.

Question 1: Provide a succinct overview of how you carried out the project. What were your methods, strategies, tactics and day-to-day tasks? What setbacks or challenges did you face, and how did you respond to these?

My project, titled "on courage. (card deck)", had two primary goals: one around the card deck, and the other around promotion. I planned to create a 52-card card deck that tells the stories of four major Ugandan LGBT+ activists in an immersive, animated manner. This card deck would include an augmented reality component that allows the user to scan a card and watch the art come alive, with written information floating around it. Additionally, I would build a website and host a fundraiser for others to buy this card deck and a series of prints with the art made for the deck. After a set amount of time, all the profits would be donated to a Ugandan non-profit committed to the advocacy and protection of the LGBT+ community in Uganda.

This wasn’t the original plan for my Trailblazer project. With my original project, in which I tackle the nuances of identity across the Ugandan diaspora, I planned to omit any mentions of the Ugandan LGBT+ community and my connection to it, because of how volatile the conversation around this community is in Uganda. I also planned to work directly with relatives in Uganda, and didn’t want to rope them into trouble. That project fell through for unrelated reasons, but I was still hesitant of the consequences that may arise from me being open about my identity. It wasn't until I realized that Uganda’s Anti-Homosexuality Act, one of the harshest anti-LGBT+ bills in Africa, was passed in May, that I reevaluated the potential of this project.

The cleverness of this bill lies in how it compels the larger Ugandan community to turn against the local LGBT+ community. Anyone deemed a "supporter" is subjected to jail time, including family and friends of LGBT+ individuals, LGBT+ friendly organizations, and anyone else who is aware of an LGBT+ individual’s identity and doesn’t out them to the police. This bill attempts to force the Ugandan LGBT+ community into a quiet, isolating death; most people who should speak up, can’t, without risking arrest, exile, or death. Each activist featured in this card deck chose to speak up anyway, and were not spared the consequences.

In the past, similar atrocities have harmed the Ugandan LGBT+ community, but were rectified by the overwhelming support and solidarity from international communities. With my privileges as an American citizen and my intimate connection to the community as a Ugandan LGBT+ individual, I recognized my responsibility to use this project as a platform to raise similar support. As the Ugandan LGBT+ community faces persecution like never before, I set out to do just that.

Question 2: Provide a succinct overview of how you carried out the project. What were your methods, strategies, tactics and day-to-day tasks? What setbacks or challenges did you face, and how did you respond to these?

A goal I committed to at the beginning of the process was to balance structure and flexibility. In the name of structure, I organized my tasks into five categories. For the sake of flexibility, I adjusted my timeline at the end of each week, marking down what I got done and readjusting the rest of the timeline. I didn’t have time to review my proposed timeline extensively before beginning, so even though I knew my end goal and the steps to getting there, I recognized that the majority of this project would be completed outside of the Trailblazer time frame. Over time I developed a more realistic standard of what I was physically and emotionally capable of within a week, and adjusted the timeline less and less.

The work focused on the first suit, Clubs, and the story of Frank Mugisha, one of the Ugandan LGBT+ community's most prominent activists. The five categories are as follows. “Writing & Recording” included doing extensive research on the history of Frank Mugisha and the Ugandan LGBT+ community. I then organized this information into 13 bite-sized chunks making up the individual and larger narrative. “Art & Animation” included designing and sketching the art for these 13 cards, each card featuring a custom physical design and the sketches for an animation that would appear via augmented reality. “Card Design & AR Set-up” featured design decisions for the card deck as a whole and the animation style, as well as preparations to build the augmented reality component. “Website Creation” featured the design and building of the website, and “Exhibit Planning & Printing” included planning the exhibit to showcase and sell the card deck and prints, as well as preparations to print the finished products. Each category had its own timeline, with “Writing & Recording” taking up more time in the first half of the process, “Art & Animation” taking up more of the second half, and the other categories having tasks spread out throughout the process.

The largest challenge I had wasn’t any of the actual work, but the emotional toll of it all. Throughout the process I kept up a weekly blog, reflecting on the past week and establishing goals for the next. There was no buffer in between realizing the terrifying state of the Ugandan LGBTQ+ community and the risks I now faced for speaking up on it, and beginning my project to speak up on it. I had to research the depths of my community’s destruction and mourn within the limited time frame I allotted myself. Burnout became a more constant factor to consider, and in the end, the scope of what I hoped to accomplish within 10 weeks shrank drastically to account for the fact that grief doesn’t work on a schedule. However, in this struggle, I found two major resources that constituted my well-being and this project’s completion: community and art. My mentor, friends, and family helped me get out of my head and prioritize rest over productivity. Consuming art emphasized the power and versatility of hope, especially in moments where there seems to be none. Both of these resources inspired me to lean into the emotional weight of this topic during the process, as opposed to ignoring it.

Question 3: What did you accomplish or produce? What were your results? Is this different than what you set out to do – and if so, how? What is the significance of these findings in your area? How do you intend to share your findings with others? For Summit and Trail-Blazer Awardees, you've all agreed to identify an external venue -- what external venue did you select and why?

In the end, I completed the majority of the work for the Clubs suit. I completed the research and organized the content into 13 sections, each including key information about a certain period of time and thematic take-aways. I designed and sketched each Clubs card and the card deck as a whole, along with the accompanying prints and animations. I began the process of building the augmented reality component, planning for the exhibit, and reaching out to individuals within the Ugandan LGBT+ community and other potential key players in this discussion. I designed and built the project’s website, which includes details about this project and the larger initiative this project is housed under, called “Art&Impact”.

The end product of this project is vastly different than the original goal, which was to create the entire deck, but I also understood from the beginning that my original goal was unrealistic for a 10-week period. Though I wish I could have completed all the work needed for the Clubs suit, I will not understate the value of the learning experience this process provided, and my documentation of it all. My weekly reflections and irregular “Small Moment” entries investigate various themes throughout the process, most commonly addressing the connections between art, community, and hope, why there’s a connection between these three virtues in particular, and why they empower each other. The project itself gathers the details of the Ugandan LGBT+ community that have been scattered across the internet, so that each source can build on and contextualize the other sources in a narrative manner. With visuals inspired by the intricate, abstract nature of modern tarot card decks, the Clubs suit introduces a general audience to the nuances of the Ugandan LGBT+ movement through the perspective of one of its most outspoken advocates.

I intend to host an augmented reality exhibit at the LGBTQA Resource Center in December or January. I don’t intend to have the card deck fully complete by then, but the exhibit will allow an audience to scan the cards to view the augmented reality storytelling, learn more about the Ugandan LGBT+ movement, and pre-order the card deck and prints. It took some time for me to decide between hosting the exhibit through the Resource Center or the John D. O'Bryant African American Institute, because this topic affects the African diaspora as much as it does the LGBT+ community. However, I wanted to use this opportunity as chance to pay homage to the LGBT+ community. I plan on hosting a second exhibit at the African American Institute, where I share the finished deck and begin the fundraiser, but for this semester, I wanted to host a smaller, cozier exhibit for the community that housed and supported me long before I discovered my queer identity.

Question 4: What did you learn about your field of study, inquiry or exploration? What did you learn about the process of building a project and carrying it out, more broadly? What did you learn about your own interests, skills, passions, and goals? What skills have you developed as a result of this work? Reflect on the process of translating your interests and passions into results/a product that could be shared with a wider community.

I learned a great deal about the Ugandan LGBT+ community, the process of creating a card deck, and the nature of my ambitions with this project. Concerning the Ugandan LGBT+ community, I developed a stronger understanding of the history of the movement, and how recent and non-African the recent surge of hatred towards the community really is. I learned about Frank Mugisha and how he risked his life time and time again to fight for his community and the betterment of his country.

Referring to the process, I now fully understand why Tarot decks are so expensive. The process of not only designing the card deck as a whole, but carefully designing and drawing each card to tell  an individual and collective narrative is both time-consuming and emotionally taxing; I regularly tapped into my writing skills, emotional intelligence, and empathy as a Ugandan LGBT+ individual in order to tell an impactful narrative. Each week, I reflected on what I learned from the process, titling each entry with “on …” to pinpoint themes that I may hope to express in this card deck. Such themes included “resolve”, “flexibility”, “promises”, and “beginnings”, discussing virtues I aim to embody or promote, and others alude to my struggles, like “disappointment” or “tangibility”. Though the process was far from consistent in terms of success and failure, I found that the learning experience was more than worth the effort.

In both the content it features and the mediums in which the content is shared, this project is close to my heart. On one hand, this meant I was fully committed to and engaged with the process. But on the other hand, the sting of each delay, misstep, and struggle was magnified by how much I wanted this project to succeed. Along with the taxing nature of the content I was analyzing, and the potential magnitude of its impact (for better and for worse), it’s no wonder why I struggled with burnout and slow progress. I learned that the potential impact of a project is a double-edged sword; as my ambitions for a project grow, so does the intensity, which weighs down on me. My passion will swallow me whole if I don’t redirect it towards self-care as often I direct it towards productivity.

Question 5: What did you learn about working with others, either group members or your faculty mentor? Is there anything that you would replicate or do differently in the future in terms of how you approached working with others on research? What are next steps for this project? What are next steps for you after having completed it?

As mentioned before, I maintained a blog containing weekly reflections, as well as a “Small Moments” section, for less structured, random reflections. Many of the small moments reflect back on a larger theme of the connections between art, community, and hope, which permeated the entire project. Concerning community, I recognized the value of receiving diverse, direct and indirect feedback. My mentor, Michelle Wallace, was instrumental to the success of my project. Our regular meetings kept me grounded when I felt overwhelmed or doubted the value of my project and the experiences I had while developing it. Concerning art, I often gravitated towards certain animated shorts and tv shows in response to the exhaustion I would feel after a day of research. As I watched the themes of courage and hope reflected on screen, I rediscovered the value of my work and would return to the research with a clear mind. Art and community worked in tandem to develop a deeper foundation of hope for me to pull on as I move forward with this project. Moving forward, I hope to continue my investigation of art, community, and hope, and to further connect with communities and media that ground me.

I have no plans on cutting this project short. This fall, “on courage." will move forward with support from the Millennium Fellowship, a fellowship hosted by the United Nations and the Millennium Campus Network. Alongside a small group of Millennium Fellows at Northeastern, I will use this initiative to further one of the United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goals (with mine focusing on SDG 16). By the end of the semester, I intend to have half of the card deck complete, the website fully fleshed out, and the exhibit set for December or January. In the spring, I hope to  complete the deck, host the second exhibit, and conduct a two-month-long fundraiser.

This is only the beginning! Though I am open to following this path wherever it takes me, I will be stubborn in seeing it to the end.

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SM